Retire in Washington?

One of my retired friends sent me wikihumor (stuff a bunch of people made up) titled, "Where to Live After Retirement". It's a group of tongue-in-cheek lists about various locations. (For example: "You can retire in Florida where...You eat dinner at 3:15 pm," "You can retire in New York where...you think Central Park is nature," etc.) Washington state was not mentioned, probably because people in Arizona don't say to their spouses: "Honey, I'm really tired of all this sunshine, let's retire someplace where it rains a lot!"

I decided that my friends could come up with a funnier Washington State list. I was right. Here are their pithy contributions:

You can retire in Washington where…

1. The phrase "The Mountain is out today" is a weather report
2. There are 27 different names for rain
3. Throwing away anything recyclable is considered a felony.
4. You spend eight hours at work and ten hours getting there and back.
5. Starbucks is considered a sovereign nation.
6. There is a special name for two days of rain followed by a sunny day: "Monday."
7. Salmon is a religion.
8. Thirty days without rain is considered a drought.
9. Loggers have applied for protection under the endangered species act.
10. The main danger at coastal beaches is giant logs, not sharks.
11. Bill Gates and Paul Allen are considered modern-day sex symbols.
12. You never, ever, ever enter a crosswalk until the light is green, no matter how long the street has been empty.
13. You will always be an outsider until you learn to pronounce Puyallup, Snoqualmie, and Tulalip.
14. You will learn to recognize 53 shades of gray.

Wanna retire in Washington?