Friday, November 16, 2007

And show the guard your ID…


My group’s office supplies are in a supply room three floors above us. It’s a long way to go for a paper clip. Groups on that floor are supposed to go to their own group’s supply rooms, which could be on any of five floors--or in the building next door. [What? You don’t think this is a good system?] Today, our group’s Grand Poobah of Office Supplies and All Things Good , [title changed to protect the unwitting perpetrator of a work absurdity] sent us this email:

“During the past few months, we have noticed that the supplies order has increased considerably. We have also noticed employees from other offices taking supplies from the our supply room. [What? People too lazy to go to their own supply room in a galaxy far, far away?] Therefore, we are beginning a new process for our group’s employees to get supplies.

"Effective immediately, the supply room will be locked at all times except from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m We ask that you plan to pick up your supplies during those hours.[What if I miss it by two minutes and I really, really need it? Will begging work?]

"Those who have keys to the room are employee X [whom I’ve never met and couldn’t find if I was on fire and she possessed the only fire extinguisher] and myself. She will be the primary contact. [Ah, Queen of Supplies!] If neither of us are available to assist you, there will be a note on the supply room door directing you who [sic] to contact [I have a bad feeling about this!].

"I realize that this new process might be an inconvenience at times [because having a supply room half a building away wasn’t inconvenient?] Given the circumstances, we cannot just ignore this problem [oh, yes you could. Please, please, just ignore it!] I apologize in advance for any inconvenience this might cause you. [OK, then. As long as you’ve apologized.]"

It’s 10:05 a.m. I need a green folder for a file that is due in 25 minutes. I hope begging works. I hope I can find Queen of Supplies (and I hope she has that fire extinguisher. I think I may be on fire.)

1 comment:

cinderelly said...

i love the work absurdities...you can blame someone else when you have stupidity in your workplace...i (mostly!) have only myself to blame! lol!

i like reading your blog...i can actually put a familiar voice in my head to the words! (i recognise that back-of-the-head shot too!)