Bees in the Verizon Box

I think Pooh Bear has nicer bees than I do. A.A. Milne wrote about bees who live in hives they've built themselves, and they only seem to bother people (and little bears) who disturb those nests.

The bees in my neighborhood prefer Verizon phone boxes that are buried near the property lines between houses. Last year the neighbor to my left had the problem. He somehow got Verizon to come out and dispatch said bees, then he battened down the lid so tight I fear Verizon technicians may never be able to open it again. This year the house to my right has acquired a bee colony. The house is foreclosed and empty, so I thought I'd be a good neighbor and report the bees to Verizon. (I suppose my phone service is supplied through one of those boxes, but I don't seem to have one inside my property line. A fact for which I am now extremely grateful.)

Why, you wonder? Come visit Verizon Online Customer Service Land with me:

Verizon Customer Service Online Chat

Your Question:

Help! A swarm of bees has taken up residence in the in-ground Verizon box between my house and the one next door.

An eCenter Representative will be with you shortly. Thank you.

Agent Jean has joined.

Who do I talk to about a swarm of bees in the Verizon box outside my house?

Jean: I will connect you with tech support.

This session is transferred to Dinesh.

Agent Dinesh has joined. (12:54:05)

Dinesh(12:54:20): Thank you for contacting technical chat support, My name is Dinesh , I see that the chat has been transferred to me and I will be glad to help you. May I confirm your telephone number as xxxxxxxxxx?

Yes

Dinesh(12:57:04): I understand that you wish to move the Verizon box installed at your place. Am I correct?

What? No! I want someone to come remove the swarm of bees that has taken up residence in it.

Dinesh(12:58:49): I understand that you wish to have a technician to remove the swarm of bees in the Verizon box. Am I correct?

…Umm, yes.

Dinesh(12:59:14): I would be glad to help you with the concern.

<This has gotta be an android…>

checks my name, address and phone number, thanking me politely for each answer. For some reason, I remember Miss Migliazzo, my first grade teacher.>

Dinesh(12:55:17): Perfect! thank you for the confirmation.

Dinesh(12:59:45): Could you please let me know if all the phone and FIOS services are working fine?

Yes, they're working fine. I'm just calling about the bees in the box outside.

Dinesh(13:00:36): Thank you for the confirmation.

Dinesh(13:01:12): Please be with me while I check with the network to provide you the best solution. Sounds good?

OK

Dinesh(13:01:31): Thank you.

Dinesh(13:02:54): Thank you for staying online.

OK

Dinesh(13:03:24): Could you please confirm me if it is the box inside your premises our outside your house?

It's in the ground outside between my house and the one next door.

Dinesh(13:04:38): Thank you for the confirmation.

OK

Dinesh(13:05:19): Ideally we need to first contact the exterminator to remove the bees from the house.

Yeah, that sounds logical.

Dinesh(13:05:40): Once we are done with it, our technician will be able to check the status of it.

ok

Dinesh(13:05:59): Thank you for understanding.

Dinesh(13:06:14): I appreciate your knowledge.

What knowledge? I don't know anything about bees!

Dinesh(13:07:49): I am sorry, I mean you are very understandable.

Dinesh(13:07:24): I have already updated it in my notes, so once you contact the exterminator and remove the bees, I will dispatch a technician to check the box. Sounds good?

What do you mean, once "I" contact an exterminator?" What happened to "we?"

Dinesh(13:09:03): I am really sorry. Our technicians will be able to fix the technical issues.

My neighbor had the same problem last year, and your company got rid of the bees.

Dinesh(13:09:54): We are always here to fix any issue related to the technical.

System Error: The network connectivity is temporarily lost. Retrying to connect…

All righty, then! I've been duly thwarted in my attempt to be a good neighbor. On the upside, there's a whole swarm of bees that is safe for now. No exterminators, no little bears. Pollinate to your hearts' content, my little friends!