Sunday, September 21, 2008

Rats: Foiled Again!

My dishwasher is broken. I'm trying the stoic approach to getting Young Geezer to install a new one. (Me: "dishwasher's broken." YG: "Yup." Me: "I think we need a new one" YG: yup, I'll pick one up after work and put it in when I have time.) I much prefer the whining approach; being quiet and kindly does not come naturally to me. I am not totally lacking in empathy, though. Young Geezer's truly awful job is keeping him obscenely busy lately. Best to wait until they've squeezed his brain dry before asking him to do manual labor in the kitchen.

That's how it came to pass that I have a dishwasher in a box in the garage. In the kitchen, I have "The Drying-Rack-Formerly-Known-as-Dishwasher."

I think I've been patient long enough, but nary a complaint will pass my lips. Alternate tactics, however, are not out of the question--as long as they are done quietly. I now have a drawer full of paper plates and plastic cutlery, installed without fanfare. Enough of this 20th Century dishwashing drudgery!

Tonight, I spied a melon wedge and a container of vanilla yogurt in the fridge. I thought the two would make a nice snack. I headed for the dining room table, clutching a paper plate bearing melon generously covered in yogurt.

Alas! The paper buckled, the melon leaped onto the floor, and a 3-ft. line of yogurt splatted across the carpet. This was not in my plan. I let out a few choice comments--totally forgetting that the windows were wide open. A neighbor pushing a baby stroller looked surprised and picked up her pace.

Here's what I've learned:

  1. Use two or three paper plates stacked together to avoid messy mishaps (yes, I do know it's not as environmentally friendly. Yes, I care. No, not enough to wash another damn plate!)
  2. Glance at the windows before emitting a string of invectives on warm nights.
  3. Scrubbing yogurt out of carpet is even more loathesome than washing dishes by hand.

I rinsed the melon, poured the rest of the yogurt on it, and had it for my snack. What a good girl am I! And, as promised, nary a complaint...

2 comments:

:: the monkey pod :: said...

Oh, how my environmental soul cringes at a drawer full of paper plates and plastic utensils. :) On the flip side: How tasty melon and vanilla yogurt would be for breakfast this morning!

Bemused Boomer said...

MM, I hope your natural compassionate nature will allow you turn a blind eye to my envrionmentally insensitive behavior! It's either paper plates or reverting to neanderthal snarfing habits for me. Please, give me a pass on this one! :)