Thursday, February 3, 2011

Get that Credit Card Away from that Kid!


I thought 24/7 shopping from home was the coolest thing ever. And it probably is, for normal people--a category to which I appear not to belong. I like the feeling of power I get being able to reach out to the world through my computer and get things delivered to my door within days. Sometimes I even still like the stuff after the thrill of shopping is gone and I'm stuck with whatever lit up my befuddled late-night brain.

I've discovered a really big drawback to my latest impulse-laden activity. Much like people who take sleeping pills and then sleep-eat and sleep-walk, I appear to have the ability to order things and completely forget about them until they arrive. Sometimes I get a clue when I print something during daylight hours and find a printed internet receipt on the printer. Sometimes I don't. Take, for instance, the hubcaps.

My venerable Camry lost a hubcap during one of my misadventures, and I decided the internet was the only logical place to look for a replacement. Or four replacements, as it turns out. (The price was great! They were coming right to my door!) I found a set of fancy hubcaps but didn't order them--I thought. Then I found the Greatest Deal ever on a set of generic imitation Camry hubcaps, with free shipping (!) Of course I ordered the Greatest Deal Ever.

My hubcaps arrived within two days and a helpful neighbor installed them for me. They really spiffed up my car. I swelled with pride at my brilliant coup. Two days later, the next box arrived. I blanched when I opened it and found the fancy hubcaps of my late-night web surfing adventures. But wait...I didn't press that "order" button...did I? In the dim recesses of my mind I seem to recollect an inner voice saying "Oh, go ahead. Get the fancy ones--you know you'll love them!" That must have been my inner child, because the fancy ones cost twice as much as the perfectly fine Greatest Deal Ever ones did. I don't remember an inner adult saying, "Stick to your budget!" (Oh, I get it. Shopping is more fun when the inner adult is asleep and the inner child has the credit card.)

My outer adult had to tape the box back up today, take it to UPS, and pay shipping and a restocking fee. She wants to have a talk with that inner child. Too bad they seem to operate on different shifts.